Overview: This report provides a combined technical and astrological outlook for the upcoming week’s financial markets. We cover Gold (XAU/USD), key Forex pairs (EUR/USD, GBP/USD, USD/JPY, AUD/USD), Bitcoin (BTC/USD), and the Indian Stock Market (Nifty50). Each section includes technical … Read the rest
Refuses to perform Pind Daan for ancestors.
“Arre bhai, wo sab nahi karna! What’s the point of all these old rituals?”
But when it comes to Lakshmi Pooja, suddenly, full enthusiasm—elaborate setup, detailed rituals, and multiple rounds of aarti.
“Lakshmi … Read the rest
Visits a temple, clicks a selfie in front of the deity, uploads with the caption—”Feeling Blessed.”
Spends five minutes getting the perfect filter, checking likes, and replying to comments.
On the way out, a hungry beggar asks for food. Completely … Read the rest
Runs a scam business, overcharges clients, manipulates people.
No worries—just chant “Om Namah Shivaya” 108 times, and you’re instantly pure!
If a business deal is stuck, just do one extra round of japa—”Jaldi kaam ho jaye, toh ek aur jaap … Read the rest
The financial markets have been extremely volatile lately, and as we step into March 2025, traders and investors are looking for clear directions. The past week saw major indices struggle, gold and Bitcoin take a surprising hit, and crude oil … Read the rest
Walks into a temple, donates ₹100 with full devotion.
“Bhagwanji, bless me with a Mercedes!”
Five minutes later, at a street vendor’s stall—
“Baba, ek rupee bhi zyada nahi dunga!”
Moral: Charity is only for impressing the gods, not … Read the rest
Steals at work, overcharges people, evades taxes. But once a month, donates a coconut at the temple.
“Bhagwan sab maaf kar dega!”
Gives a big laddu to Ganpati and confidently declares, “My business will boom now!”
Moral: Apparently, punya … Read the rest
Zooms past a red light, no seatbelt, overtaking like it’s a Fast & Furious scene…
But don’t worry—there’s a Hanuman sticker on the dashboard, so nothing can go wrong!
“Arre, Hanumanji sambhal lenge!”
(But wears a helmet only when police … Read the rest
Tuesday: “Bhai, no chicken today! It’s Hanumanji’s day!”
Wednesday: “Let’s make up for yesterday—extra tandoori platter, please!”
Bonus points if they say, “Bro, I was protein deficient for one day—gotta compensate!”
Moral: Because Bhakti works like … Read the rest
Monday to Wednesday: “Bro, shots!”
Thursday: “No alcohol today, it’s Guruvar! Respect Brihaspati!”
Friday: “Ok, now let’s make up for yesterday’s ‘loss’ – bottoms up!”
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